Telling Children to Work Hard Might Not Be The Right Parenting Strategy

It is a common practice for parents to tell their children that they have to put in extra effort and work hard to get ahead in life. However, this may not always be the most sensible decision. Research published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology explores how such narratives may be harmful. 

Effect on Belief Systems

When you instil the belief in a child that only effort is the reason behind success, you change how they perceive people in the world. Children will think that people who are not successful have simply not put in the effort, rather than acknowledging the problematic systems in place and the role genetics play in intelligence. They will start to lack empathy for the underprivileged and think that they do not deserve better work conditions.

Surveys on Effort, Ability, and Luck

To assess the impact of such narratives, the research team surveyed 200 Americans. The questions highlighted different potential causes for a person's success- effort, ability, and luck. They were given information about fictional planets and their success parameters. The parents were asked how they would explain the difference to their children and attribute it to one of the three causes. In the results, 41% said that a lack of effort was made by the lower species, 34% mentioned luck, and 25% picked ability.

They conducted another study for parents and children in science museums in Canada utilizing the same scenario. It concluded that 60% of the children chose lack of effort, 21% selected luck, and 20% picked ability.

In the final study, kids were presented with an alien with a coin and one without. They were given the same three causes and the choice to give a coin to one. When given the reason of effort or ability, one-third of them gave the coin to the alien who did not have one as compared to 75% when told about luck.

What Can Parents Do? 

Affluent parents can initiate conversations with their children about recognizing their privilege and try instilling empathy through acts of charity. They should make it action-oriented to make children learn better. For example, involving children in charitable contributions like donating to school lunch programs and explaining why everybody does not have enough to eat, or asking them to donate their toys.